Drugs and Chinchillas Don’t Mix… Or Do They?
Posted by Bert S. on Thu, Oct 16, 2008 @ 05:42 PM
It has come to the attention of the chinchillaplace staff that many chinchillas across the country have been sucking down mad weed. But most chinchilla owners are naïve about chinchilla drug use. So, how do you know that your chinchilla is toking up?
A common trick for chinchilla stoners is to hide their stash in the place least suspected: a bag of hay. Hay, now put that in your pipe and smoke it. No seriously. It's the only way to know for sure whether or not it's marijuana. If you actually enjoy smoking it, your sweet, innocent little furball is really a drug-addled menace to society. Call the police. If a rash starts to develop, throw out the hay and call an ambulance.
It is extremely important to discuss drug use with your chinchilla, although we understand that it can be difficult, or as some would say, preposterously absurd to communicate verbally with a chinchilla in any meaningful way. In this regard, they are much like teenagers, who are also notorious drug users and common acquaintances of many chinchillas.
Another, more contemporary way of cracking down is to log on to the ‘intranet' (also known as the world wide web) and check out your chinchilla's myspace or facebook page. Usually a chinchilla will leave some clue to the stonage that goes on behind your back. Check out this photo that led to one chinchilla getting busted:
Last but not least, remember that chinchillas who do drugs, have owners who do drugs, so be very cautious. Watch this clip where a chinchilla has brainwashed a youth into smoking weed and posting a hilarious video of himself on youtube. Please note how the chinchilla has trained this unsuspecting owner to feed pot on command.
If you think this is silly, or doubt that your chinchilla could be burning the devil's lettuce, you ARE the problem.
Sorry about all that "straight talking," I just had to inform the public. Carry on with the chilla ninja training, and remember the motto: "strike hard, and poop profusely."